Did anyone get a lame present for Christmas? I hope not.

For those that did, I am having this contest to help one person get over their anguish.

All you have to do is tell me what the gift was, and I’ll be the judge of all responses. You can include gifts from all Christmases.

The winner gets a replacement gift from me!

I know it’s “the thought that counts.”

But were they really thinking when they got you a 2005 calendar for this Christmas?

Note: Responses stating that gifts from me were lame are automatically disqualified. You can also expect a dropkick to the face.

Growing up, I always heard stories about Santa, a man from the North Pole who flew around the world on Christmas Eve giving out presents to all of the good kids on his list (did you know he checks it twice?).

This was the reason to be good. Free presents are much better motivation than the self-gratification of knowing you have a kind heart.

Then, when I became mature enough at the age of 6 to understand the harsh truths of life, it was revealed to me that Santa didn’t exist!

What reason did I have to be good anymore?

What other stories were really lies?

Were my teeth really in the hands of the Tooth Fairy?

Sad to say, my life would never be the same again… until now.

Today, I found out some exciting news. Not only is Santa real, but you can track his journey just like you would a UPS package here!

All is right in the world again.

“You have 3 derogatory accounts,” or so my credit report said.

(Is it weird that I felt racist after reading that?)

Apparently, the credit report people like to bad mouth your accounts that are past due in hopes that you will pay up to stop the name calling.

Even so, I knew something was wrong because I’m not a derogatory kind of guy (most of the time). The evidence was there though.

When I was 14, I got a credit card, charged $300, and never paid the balance off.

When I was 15, I got another credit card, charged $500, and never paid the balance off.

When I was 16, I opened up an account with the electricty company and closed it after a month with a balance of $100 still unpaid.

Too bad nobody realized that to be able to do any of this, I would have to have been 18.

That got their attention quick.

free credit report link